:Blog o' Doom

Miranda recently pointed me at Foamy – an entertaining online animation series that more often than not is ranting about the stupidity of those around us. I recommend it.

But it got me thinking… this is the Blog of Doom. A blog born out of a deep hatred for stupidity, ignorance, and people in my fucking way. A home for my festering rants on such lowlifes.

But as of late, there have not been many such posts. It’s time to revive that! To return to our roots, so-to-speak.

A few of the rants I’ve had on the back-burner Foamy has done. I wanted to avoid that, as it would be too easy to just slip into his rant. Then, in another conversation with Miranda, I remembered a true evilness I’d not yet exposed.

Texting.

Texting.
Texting is a great technology. It’s has a lot of uses:

• Sending someone a short message that’s not worth a phone call over, such as “I’m on my way” or “stuck in traffic, will be late”
• Getting someone a message when they cannot easily answer their phone due to class or a meeting.
• A quick addendum to a phone conversation that requires no response
• When someone doesn’t have enough reception to talk, but you have something urgent to tell them.

However, I’ll tell you one thing it’s not fucking good for! It’s not fucking good for having full conversations! If you send someone a text, and they respond, and you still have more to say, that’s a sure sign you should fucking call them! Yet people have 2 fucking hour conversations over a thumb-button technology! It’s like we’ve gone back to the telegraph for fuck sake.

And to make matters worse, when one of these brain-dead fuck-faces sends you the third text message in a row, and you pick up the phone to call them, they don’t fucking answer! I know you’re next to the phone, you just fucking texted me! Pick up! How fucking stupid do you think I am, that I don’t realize you text from and answer your phone from the same fucking device?

Oh, but that’s not the even the worst of it! Oh, no. There are actually overgrown finger-mashing half-witted ass-hats who do things like propose, break up, and get divorced… via a fucking text message! Are you fucking kidding me?! How exactly does this conversation go?

“No more luv, want divorce. sry.”
“O rly? y?”
“cuz”
“but, ilu!”
“no luv u”
“h8 u!”

Man, and people thought breaking up on the phone was bad.

First of all, the people who would do this are clearly too stupid to live and should just be shot.

But more to the point, if you’re dumb enough to know, much less date, much much less marry a douche-bag who would do this, then you deserve to get broken up with. Why? Because you don’t deserve to be happy much less procreate and polute the world with more of your pathetic, useless DNA.

And don’t give me any “that’s so cruel” crap. Go find someone to text you something nice if you can’t handle it.

So to all of you carpel-tunnel-thumb, retarded, WoW-playing, useless wastes of space… STOP IT. Just fucking stop it. If you want to have a conversation, pick up the phone, or, if possible, perhaps try actually meeting up with people. I know, that’s a scary thought in today’s electronic age, but try it getting out of your mom’s dingy basement once in a while and you may actually experience life!

Seriously. Knock it off. I’ll find you.

Thanks Foamy, for keeping me in check.