:Blog o' Doom

Okay, so some people seem to have a problem understanding the “Doom” part of “Blog o’ Doom”

Did you expect this would be a happy blog about roses and candy? This is my Cynical Kingdom, my Refuge From Annoying Bouncy-Smiley People.

With that in mind, I’ve come up with a list of shit that should not offend you. Note I said “offend” not “bother,” “cause you to dislike them,” or “cause you to be unhappy.” You’re welcome to dislike anything in the world, including anything on this list. I wouldn’t dream of telling you what you should or should not like. However, if things on this list genuinely offend you (and believe me, I’ve been easy, I could have included a lot more stuff), then you need to re-evaluate your priorities in life. Let it go. Move on.

PHIL’S LIST O’ SHIT THAT SHOULDN’T OFFEND YOU

• Public Displays of Affection
• Yesterday’s Blog Post
• The fact I think the world would be better off if we could kill off 40% of the earth’s population (specifically take the bottom half, minus the bottom 5th of that, so we keep the bottom 10% and loose everyone from there on up to 50%, where the ranking is based on IQ)
• Sex
• Nudity
• Anal Sex
• Oral Sex
• Tit Fucking
• Homosexuality
• Heterosexuality
• Interracial couples
• Birth Control
• Words. Any of them.
• Philosophies
• Someone else’s THOUGHTS (note: the act of believing everyone else should ALSO believe your thoughts CAN be offensive)
• A conversation between two other people NOT about you or your loved ones.
• Dead baby jokes
• Dead cat jokes
• Dead anything jokes

Yes, I realize this post does not fall into any of the things on this list. It could be considered offensive to some people without me thinking they need to re-evaluate their priorities in life — though I would say they’re a bit on the easily offended side. After all, it’s just a blog post.

As a final note, to the more than 4 people who thought yesterday’s post signified a bad mood: WHAT?! Have you ever met me? Have you ever spoken to me? That’s how I talk every day of my life. In fact, I was in a good mood because I had an annoying bitch to base my post on rather than trying to make one up. ::sigh:: People, this is my mind. This is how it always works.