I hate Thanksgiving. I really hate Thanksgiving. I hate it for so many reasons. For starters, it revolves around not just one food I can’t eat, but lots of food I can’t eat. In fact, at any given Thanksgiving table, it is highly unlikely you will find anything I have a desire to eat. Occasionally the lazy cook will have purchased the canned jelly-cranberry sauce that comes out shaped like the can and you slice it. I can eat that. I’m not excited about it, but I like it. I hate turkey. I hate stuffing. I hate pumpkin pie. I hate all pie (except chocolate pie). I hate anything pumpkin. I hate green bean casserole. I hate asparagus. I hate it all. (Admitedly the rare table might be mostly honey-ham, whip cream&cranberry pie in an oreo pie crust, and I’m pretty good with those dinners…)
And that’s not all. I make it a policy to be very clear on what I’m thankful for all year. Ask my girlfriend and she will tell you that I tell her quite often how thankful I am to have her in my life (often as in between 1 and 400 times a day). Do I really need a fucking day to remind me to be thankful? No. And there’s so many people that do. And I hate that too.
And what else happens at Thanksgiving? You get 8 generations of your family together. Just before they walk in the door they’re cursing each other because they hate each other. Then they sit and pretend to like each other for 4 hours while they stuff their faces because they have nothing nice to say to each other. Then they’ve eaten so much so quickly they didn’t even enjoy the food they like and worked so hard on as much as they could/should have, and they sit miserable for a few hours waiting for the slow process of digestion to work its magic. I hate that too.
So I’ve decided, since I’m good about consistent thanksgiving, while everyone else is being thankful I’m going to make this Thankstaking. I’m just going to absorb the thanks for a while.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving.
PS. To all of you who responded to my last blog post in IM but didn’t leave a comment… fucking lame.
PPS. While on this “thankstaking” subject, here’s some song lyrics for you:
Last Caress (originally by The Misfits, as covered by Metallica)
I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn’t matter much to me
As long as it’s dead
I got something to say
I raped your mother today
And it doesn’t matter much to me
As long as she’s spread
True lovely death
Just waiting for your breath
Come sweet death, one last caress
True lovely death
Just waiting for your breath
Come sweet death, one last caress
I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn’t matter much to me
As long as it’s dead
True lovely death
Just waiting for your breath
Come sweet death, one last caress
Last caress today
I hate thanksgiving as well. I have an awesome family, so it’s not that part of it that sucks. It’s the history of thanksgiving, and why people celebrate it pisses me off. I’d rather not go into the details of that… It’s fake to me, and every year, I refuse to have anything to eat simply because of what it symbolizes. (Actually, this time around, I didn’t have anything to eat ’cause most of the things that were served I couldn’t eat anyway ’cause there’s 6 stitches at the back of my mouth right now…makes it a bit difficult, ya know..) And, like you Phil, I don’t need a specific day to be thankful of my life and events happening in it. I’m grateful and thankful everyday and I don’t need some “holiday” (if you can even call it that) to show it.
Want comments, eh? Here’s one.
Between your last post (re: sledgehammer politics) and this one, you have gone from maybe shining a brief but noticeable ray of light into the bleak, depressing, self-absorbed, plagaristic world of Blogs to producing a run-of-the mill, trite, tiring tirade that makes a joke out of everything you claim to strive for. Let’s do something unique: take a holiday that is supposed to be happy, and complain about it! Congratulations, you’re average.
Let me apologize not only for myself, but on behalf of everyone else who is “fucking lame” for not committing our comments regarding your last post to your tidy little forum section. I’m sorry, I had no idea I was required to save my praise for posterity, rather than just delivering it to the one person for whom it was intended; that being you, you whiny jerk.
Also, in this comments form, “URL” is misspelled twice as “URI.”
…
Please don’t mistake my irate comments for malice; only disappointment.
Retraction: As I have been made aware, the URI thing is not a misspelling, only an inconsistency. My apologies.
Erm. URI is the Uniform Resource Identifier (http://www.iana.org/assignments/uri-schemes).
There are many, many kinds of URIs. One of them is a URL, a Uniform Resource Locator. URLs are URIs. It’s not misspelled.
My “leave comments” post was actually directed at a select few I didn’t want to name. Though I am a fan of comments, good or bad.
It’s unfortunate you found my post trite. Most of my hate of thanksgiving stems from my hate of the food. The rest came from observation of others.
Lastly, the “blog of doom” is gonna be depressing, cynical, and self-absorbed. First, it’s a blog, so it’s about me. My thoughts, my ideas, my day, me. So yeah, duh, of course it’s self-absorbed. Second of all, it’s called “blog of doom” did you really expect happy thoughts? Roses and candy? I’m a cynical guy by nature. Why does no one get this…?
I know Tim already corrected himself, but for the sake of completeness for anyone else reading, a better link would be the RFC on URIs: ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/rfc2396.txt
And a useful quote:
While I’m at it — what the fuck man? You did respond to my big long theory-of-life post, so how the hell could that comment have been directed at you anyway??
Check your time stamps, buddy. 🙂
Thanksgiving sucks always has and always will. Four weeks of preperations for 1 day,clean carpets;dust bust;rearrange the house full of somebody elses stuff;no thanks no reward.kill me,kill us all just do me first.