I hate Thanksgiving. I really hate Thanksgiving. I hate it for so many reasons. For starters, it revolves around not just one<\/i> food I can’t eat, but lots of food I can’t eat. In fact, at any given Thanksgiving table, it is highly unlikely you will find anything<\/i> I have a desire to eat. Occasionally the lazy cook will have purchased the canned jelly-cranberry sauce that comes out shaped like the can and you slice it. I can eat that. I’m not excited about it, but I like it. I hate turkey. I hate stuffing. I hate pumpkin pie. I hate all pie (except chocolate pie). I hate anything pumpkin. I hate green bean casserole. I hate asparagus. I hate it all. (Admitedly the rare table might be mostly honey-ham, whip cream&cranberry pie in an oreo pie crust, and I’m pretty good with those dinners…)<\/p>\n
And that’s not all. I make it a policy to be very clear on what I’m thankful for all year. Ask my girlfriend and she will tell you that I tell her quite often how thankful I am to have her in my life (often as in between 1 and 400 times a day). Do I really need a fucking day to remind me to be thankful? No. And there’s so many people that do. And I hate that too.<\/p>\n
And what else happens at Thanksgiving? You get 8 generations of your family together. Just before they walk in the door they’re cursing each other because they hate each other. Then they sit and pretend to like each other for 4 hours while they stuff their faces because they have nothing nice to say to each other. Then they’ve eaten so much so quickly they didn’t even enjoy the food they like and worked so hard on as much as they could\/should have, and they sit miserable for a few hours waiting for the slow process of digestion to work its magic. I hate that too.<\/p>\n
So I’ve decided, since I’m good about consistent thanksgiving, while everyone else is being thankful I’m going to make this Thankstaking. I’m just going to absorb the thanks for a while.<\/p>\n
Enjoy your Thanksgiving.<\/p>\n
PS. To all of you who responded to my last blog post in IM but didn’t leave a comment… fucking lame.<\/p>\n
PPS. While on this “thankstaking” subject, here’s some song lyrics for you:<\/p>\n
\nLast Caress<\/b> (originally by The Misfits, as covered by Metallica)
\nI got something to say
\nI killed your baby today
\nAnd it doesn’t matter much to me
\nAs long as it’s dead<\/p>\n
I got something to say
\nI raped your mother today
\nAnd it doesn’t matter much to me
\nAs long as she’s spread<\/p>\n
True lovely death
\nJust waiting for your breath
\nCome sweet death, one last caress<\/p>\n
True lovely death
\nJust waiting for your breath
\nCome sweet death, one last caress<\/p>\n
I got something to say
\nI killed your baby today
\nAnd it doesn’t matter much to me
\nAs long as it’s dead<\/p>\n
True lovely death
\nJust waiting for your breath
\nCome sweet death, one last caress
\nLast caress today
\n<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I hate Thanksgiving. I really hate Thanksgiving. I hate it for so many reasons. For starters, it revolves around not just one food I can’t eat, but lots of food I can’t eat. In fact, at any given Thanksgiving table, it is highly unlikely you will find anything I have a desire to eat. Occasionally […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.phildev.net\/phil\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}